I'm still here

There’s a lot in my head these days. When I’ve made time and space to sit and write, nothing comes to the surface. Or if there are thoughts, it’s not many and they’re quickly interrupted by the have to dos.

The term ‘mental load’ has been floating around social media and public spaces for some time. Maybe I’m only aware of it because the algorithm has picked up that I’m a single mum and it’s a term that’ll mean something to me, it’s something I’ll pause to read or click on. 

Writing this to say, that I’m still here hovering in the background. Attempting to write down what I have to say. At my core I know that I’m a story teller. I feel most alive when I’m sharing stories with others, whether it’s a good book, movie or sending my own words out onto the internet. I still have things to say.

When I talk to my friends, we say that this is a season. It’s the part of mothering that’s intense. The little person still requires a lot of support to regulate. The emotions are big and so are some of the behaviors. So I’m there, helping co-regulate while also trying to regulate my own emotions. I’m doing all the things in hope that this small human is going to turn into an adult who is a person I’d want to have at a dinner party one day. I’ll keep trying to carve out time to write, to flesh out my thoughts into something worth sharing and worth reading.